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Confirming that I wanted to know my rights in evicting Katie, he asked if she had lived with me for more than 3 days and if she had clothes hanging in my closet.

Responding affirmatively that she did on both counts, the officer confirmed that I had to file for a formal Eviction Notice in the Sarasota County Clerk's Office.

Upon further being questioned as to the reason for my calling 911, I stated that I was fed up with Katie's ongoing and constant raging, as well as her almost always wanting to fight for no reason.

Upon listening to this, Katie asked the officer to check my criminal record.

The sheriff looked at me quizzically and I said "go for it ~ I have nothing to hide."

Utilizing the little transmitter he wore on his shoulder, the Sarasota County Sheriff's Department confirmed that there was no criminal record on file for me.

Katie then requested that the officer check again, and the Sarasota Police Department also responded with “no record on file for Albert Garcia.”

Finally, with a look of intense puzzlement and disgust at the sheriff's inability to discover a criminal record on me, Katie insisted that there definitely had to be a charge on me somewhere in the area.

By now intuitively, I knew that what I had asked for and accused Katie of several times during the fights over the course of our last year together was true ~ that she had filed a capias warrant for my arrest on September 19, 2009.

The sheriff then looked at me compassionately and stated that if he fulfilled Katie's 3rd request and found out that there was a record on file, I would be arrested.

I responded "please do ~ I want to know the truth".

The Longboat Key Police Department responded within seconds, that there was a capias warrant out for my arrest filed on September 19, 2009!

The officer then questioned if I needed something from my apartment before being carted off to jail.

I stupidly and inanely asked if he could retrieve my contact lens case from the medicine cabinet.

In what seemed an eternity, I viewed him from the squad car through the still open dining room and living room windows, as he effected a microscopic inspection of my entire residence.