All of us disliking Curly Joe, Larry and Shemp and barely accepting Moe ~ just because if there was not a Moe, there would not be a cute Curly.

In addition to the “guess how many fingers” routine, we all loved Curly’s rata-tat-tat-tat derby tapping routine on his bowling ball head.

A natural born comedian that later in life would become a nationwide professional headliner, Matt was already cracking adult jokes in 1st grade.

Ted ~ tall for his age, was famous for his unique “butch” (later called buzz) hair cut due to his severe dandruff.

Laughing uncontrollably and to avoid getting sent yet another time to the principal’s office, we would hide under the table of our desks whenever he decided to comb and scratch his head and sprinkle the black linoleum floor with his white dandruff.

Even at 6 years of age thanks to Wonder Woman and Archie's Veronica, I was very much attracted to girls.

An apple not falling far from Lito’s and my father’s Edenic Tree, in 2nd grade I was dragged to the principal’s office for kissing Diana Parmesana ~ a beautiful lass with big brown eyes and braided hair.

My mom had to come and pick me up during her lunch break and was told by the chubby nun that I had to spend less time in the back of the class cloak room flirting with the girls and focus much more on the blackboard.

All the way home she kept glaring at me out of the corner of her eye like a recalcitrant Puggee, until at a stop sign she hollered “you’re just like your father, too young for girlfriends!”

Olive-skinned me was only the 3rd Hispanic in a school population of 800.

After spending the summer of ’59 in Lake Tahoe, I came back to start third grade very sun tanned and then the serious teasing set-in.

Called a wet-back, greaser, taco-boy, spic, beaner, dirty Mexican, etc., I defended myself by citing my German/Costa Rican ancestry with "Schielzeth" being my Mom's maiden name.

Following my father’s footsteps on changing his birth certificate, instead of altering the born date, I meticulously erased the “o” from Alberto and thus became “Albert” the rest of my legal life.



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