"THE 3 STOOGES" ~ 3


One of my cruelest racist hecklers was Eddie McMillan ~ a carrot orange haired Irish kid that together with Matt’s older brother Gus, loved to scream the Alberto VO5 jingle in my face constantly.


One morning at the urinal next to me, he started singing and I waited for him to zip-up before I grabbed him and started beating his head against the ceramic tile floor.


Upon hearing the screaming, Sister Mary Arthur bolted into the boy’s bathroom without knocking and sent McMillan to the principal’s office instead of me, having watched him many times teasing me at recess and lunch periods.


Even though she still corrected me for fighting, Sister knew that I did the right thing and gave me the most heavenly yet reproachable smile.


No matter how much I enjoyed sitting around Matt and Ed, in 4th grade I had to to move closer to the front to see the blackboard better.


My deteriorating eyesight would cause me to wear glasses and took the teasing up another notch.


“4 eyes”, “Coke bottoms” and “Mr. Magoo” now expanded the name-calling litany.


My saving grace again was my courteous behavior to the nuns, high intelligence, gregarious personality and some said good looks ~ even with thick black-framed glasses.


When accused by my friends of returning the flirts of this “icky girl” in our class, even though at 11 years of age Nancy was already purposely sexy emulating her promiscuous older sister by shortening her uniform skirt by rolling up the waist band.


To not lose my peer acceptance, I sarcastically told Nancy that she brushed her teeth with charcoal!


Even though I found her extremely attractive, her having 1 dead tooth in front was my source of attack and hope of deflecting her advances.


No such luck, she immediately reported me to the teacher who then took me to the principal’s office.


Pleading with her not to call my Mom, she acquiesced but still sentenced me to stay 1 hour after school and write on the blackboard ala Bart Simpson, “I will not call girls bad names” 100 times.


As well as the recalcitrant principal wrote a letter to my Mom ~ who again was not any too happy with me.


Sheesh………………………….
















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Disclaimer

To protect the innocent and those antagonists that are dead or still alive, I have purposely and respectfully changed the names of all of the people characterized in this book that contributed to the actual 100% true events that took place.

The only persons in the narratives whose real “names are named” ala Don Corleone are my wife Christine, daughter Alexandra and son Christian.

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