"THE WHITE KNIGHT OF THE SOUL": chapter 10 ~ page 6

I respectfully continue adding my comments in italics after each of Brianna’s 18 points.

18 Signs You Are Experiencing A Dark Night Of The Soul, Otherwise Known As An Existential Crisis Avatar

By Brianna Wiest

Updated September 15, 2019 God & Man Yet and Started


This is because all of the emotions attached to those experiences are bubbling up to the surface.

The energy that you have been ignoring all of this time is beginning to diffuse, and you are beginning to open yourself back up to the parts of your subconscious mind you "forgot" about while you were suppressing other memories.

Thanks to Ruach Hakodesh (The Holy Spirit in Hebrew) blessing me every night with immensely exciting and subconscious cleansing dreams, since my White Knight I am dreaming so profoundly and intensely that upon awakening, I sometimes feel completely exhausted.

And yes, I am experiencing people from my past that I obviously subconsciously ignored for many years of which 99% are connecting in delightful dreams.


You begin listening to the countless warnings that fame and wealth and "success" is not the luxury life that you think it is.

You begin realizing that you don't really want any of it anyway ~ that you're relying on the idea of it to soothe some fear or insecurity you have about your own worthlessness.

Born to immigrants from Costa Rica that arrived in San Francisco in 1943 with only their suitcases, I was taught early on the value of working smart & 100% effort based, as well as doing whatever was necessary only in positive ways to achieve success.

Grateful for the sacrifices that my Mom and Grandparents made on my behalf so that I could attend private and very expensive Roman Catholic grammar and high schools to secure a better education, thank God ~ I was cut from the same pair of scissors as my ancestors.

Being elected Senior Class President and giving a standing ovation speech in front of 1,000 fellow students and the administration, I soon realized that the fame that accompanies titles is very fleeting and evaporates quickly.

Reviving the dead for many years school newspaper, I called it "The Senior Axis" ~ honoring Jimi Hendrix's "Axis Bold As Love" album.

Writing against the Vietnam War and protesting the pedophile school administration, I was given the choice of resigning as president and graduate with my class, or attending another high school. Some choice!

Choosing to work as soon as I turned 16 instead of being a benchwarmer on our football team, I loved to receive my weekly paycheck that I did my very best to earn and feel proud of.

Constantly wanting to wear the finest clothes, drive the best cars and owned a home at 22 way before any of my other friends, my most grandiose goal was to buy a private jet before I turned 30.

But very early in my 20s when I purchased my first BMW 530i and got my first ding and scratches, I was able to hurdle my ego and see that the automobile was just a piece of metal.

Thank God, my wanting success had nothing to do with any feeling of insecurity or worthlessness ~ it just had to do with my always striving for excellence and securing the keys to God's Kingdom.

No self-crowning or applause-seeking anymore!

I was finally learning to love the sound of silence........


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